MAIS 601: Equity Studies Reflection

I am drawn to the Equity Studies focus area because I am a woman. I honestly didn’t think about this or the impact it would have on my life until I was in university completing my undergraduate degree. Even then, much of my experiences of being ‘a woman in a man’s world’ was discovered through coursework and other women’s lived experiences. I understood it a bit more after I joined my current organization; I work for a global construction company in the oil and gas sector. I’ve had to carefully curate and craft who I am while at work and who I am perceived to be – to be enough but not too much; to earn my seat at the table. It’s been challenging and at times incredibly difficult. The inequity I saw in the world specifically as it relates to men and women was something I was seeing through someone else rather than a ‘true’ lived experience. It wasn’t until I became a mother that the inequity I saw directly impacted me and the way I exist in the world. Post-partum was a wild ride and my husband’s ability to continue to be the person he was before he became a parent was not true for me and I was resentful. Everything about my own existence changed along with who I was and what I wanted, and nothing really changed for him. As I continue down the road of motherhood, the inequities continue to be glaringly obvious, and I continue to navigate it the best way I can but in truth it’s exhausting.

Equity studies asks a lot of questions and that is the point. It’s not supposed to be comfortable or easy to answer. How do we ensure everyone’s voices are heard and do we really want to change systems of oppression? I know that sounds like a resounding ‘yes’, but these systems serve a purpose. We understand it is inherently problematic but changing it also means we as a society have to change – we have to consider the ugly truths and realities of what we’ve done. What does this mean for people and specifically, white people who come from privilege and how they exist in this world? How can we change things to make them better when we don’t know if it will be better? Who are we if we don’t have these systems? What will the world look like and when will it get better? There was so much opportunity and hope with the Black Lives Matter movement and George Floyd but now, several years later, where are we? It feels like we’re stuck, and all the progress we’ve made has been in vain as we move backwards.

Sara Ahmed’s “Embodying diversity: Problems and paradoxes for Black feminists” (2009) focuses on diversity and specifically what it means to a black feminist working in academics. She uses her own experiences of racism and anger to question diversity and what “being diversity” actually means in the context of academic institutions (Ahmed, 2009, pp.45). The author feels she has to be grateful for the opportunity she’s been given within academic institutions but when she attempts to confront racism within the institutions themselves, she’s met with resentment and judgement from within the administration. According to Ahmed (2009), it’s almost shock on the part of the administration when she does not simply smile and thank them for the opportunity. The concept of diversity and what it means for organizations (including academic institutions) appears to be about checking a box. If it’s something that makes organizations and institutions appear ‘good’ and ‘not racist’, what does that truly accomplish? Sara Ahmed (2009) makes an interesting point when she claims diversity becomes about changing perceptions of whiteness rather than changing the whiteness of organizations; declaring an institution or organization is diverse because of the number of diverse people within doesn’t do enough to address the systemic inequities let alone, solve them.

References:

Ahmed, S. (2009). Embodying diversity: Problems and paradoxes for Black feminists . Race Ethnicity and Education, 12(1), 41–52.